Taffeta and Deadlines
by Stephanie Higgins
Director, THE GAY MARRIAGE THING
November 18, 2003 was the day I was finally the given the right to wrap my friends in taffeta, stuff them in a broiling hall in August and condemn them to Chicken Dancing for the duration of one evening. It was also the day I realized that I could and should have the opportunity to be part of the American Dream. The house, the cars, the kids, the wife. Yes, wife. It hadn’t occurred to me before that day to dream about living in married bliss with the woman of my dreams. It wasn’t an option. Now it is.
That day in 2003 gave me an unexpected passion for this new equal right. This passion carried me into the first Constitutional Convention. With this new gleam of freedom in my eye, I picked up my video camera and began a year’s journey turning the passion for this equal opportunity into my film THE GAY MARRIAGE THING.
The film is completed and on DVD, but the fight continues. And what’s at stake now is higher than before. Not only are there thousands of legally married same-sex couples in Massachusetts whose marriages need to be protected, there are also couples like my girlfriend and I potentially being forced into decisions based on government-imposed deadlines. To quote someone from the film: “That’s just wrong.”
While we are not married, my girlfriend and I enjoy the freedom of opportunity. Along with this option we now experience the pressures of society many straight couples feel. Unjustly added to those pressures is the possibility of a 2008 vote to dissolve this newly created right. If the legislature allows this amendment through, we will be forced to think about a deadline to get married. Again: “That’s just wrong.”
People are supposed to have control over their weddings, within the (sometimes) reasonable confines of the wedding industry. It is unconsionable that many of us have to worry about if we can stay or get married based on the whim of “the people” or the government.
I’ve heard every argument and debate point on both sides. They are all too beaten to death to drag from behind the shed. My only argument and the point of my film is, let’s let love decide.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep fantasizing about those taffeta dresses.
To watch THE GAY MARRIAGE THING trailer visit: TheGayMarriageThing.com
To Read or contribute to Blog for Family Day visit Mombian.com
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